Zeitgeist: Addendum

This video is basically like my 11th and 12th grade Sociology and World Geography classes combined, minus the "crazy" old black man teaching it.




Also...

Check out the The Venus Project

Ramblings of a derranged mind

There are certain drugs that won't cloud your perception. There are certain drugs that open your mind and remove filters built into our brains that were put there so that we would have survival instincts. Some things make us uncomfortable when we're hungry, so that we want to eat rather than stare at the ceiling for the next few hours. There are certain wavelengths that our eyes aren't able to recognize; in fact, the "visible spectrum" is barely anything. When you really think about it, there's so much shit going on that we're completely oblivious to. For example, there could be an ultraviolet elephant sitting on your lap right now. Maybe not, but who knows for sure? When one starts to think about the sheer amount of things that exist that we're unaware of, it starts to become clear that although humans dominate this planet, we're far from elite or even special. Just because we've got bigger brains than the animals around us we think that we're the shit, but its like if we put a high school drop out in a room of 1st graders; of course he's relatively educated compared to them, in the greater scheme of things, he's next to nothing.

Mr. Antonios

The man.

The myth.

The legendary substitute teacher.

Imagine Barney Rubble. Now compress his vertical height by about 25% without compromising any horizontal girth. Stick him in a clean gray suit and you have Mr. Antonios.

Everyone's favorite sub, Mr. Antonios spoke with a thick Greek (?) accent and claimed to know over 10 languages, and was rumored to have penned dozens of books in said languages.

His handwriting on the board looked like Greek lettering, and was always verbatim what the regular teacher had told him to assign.

He regularly pleaded with the class to behave so that he could "give A plus."

If you were really good though...

If you did something to make him like you, like write someone else's name on the attendance sheet for them, or have a riveting polite conversation with him...

He would hand you a stick of Juicyfruit.




One time, he gave me a whole pack.


I almost cried.

I Love the 90's: ON DEMAND!

We run, we jump, we swim and play
We row and go on trips
But the thing that lasts forever
Are our dear friendships...

Camp Anawanna
We hold you in our hearts
And when we think about you
It makes me wanna fart!
[It's "I hope we never part," now get it right or pay the price]

Now we will share a lifetime of the fondest memories
By the Lake of Anawanna
Set in the old pine trees
Camp Anawanna We hold you in our hearts
But when we think about you
This thing came apart!

Think Ana-wanna-wanna!
Speak Ana-wanna-wanna!
Live Ana-wanna-wanna! UGH!!

A Lesson in Crowd Control

If you've ever been to a comedy show, it's likely you've encountered a heckler. Everyone's seen the Michael Richards clip where he spits racial slurs at an audience member. This is the WRONG way to handle a heckler. Well, today, we're gonna learn how to take care of one the RIGHT way, and get a couple of laughs out of it in the process. First up is a classic, Mitch Hedberg.



Next, Joe Rogan. He's a pro at being angry it seems..



An unconventional "comedian," Neil Hamburger.

Shredding

Snowboarding rules. If you ski, get out of my sight. Going down a hill sideways is 50 times more bad ass than being able to see the people to the side of you. Go take your pizza and french fries and have a bad time.


Anyone else got the Triple Major? It's a kickass pass. Just got mine the other day, and I'm balls excited.

Senbazuru (Sembazuru?)

I' not entirely sure on what is the correct spelling or meaning. I think one means one thousand and one means over one thousand. Apparently having 1,001 cranes is more lucky. Sure. What the hell is one more if you have already done 1,000.

Yeah I have not had the time to actually string these wizards together yet. I should this coming week. I have done one strand for reference. On this strand there are 50 cranes. So I need to make 19 more of these.Use you imagination to how it will look in the end.

There you are then. It has been a real great time guys. Enjoy your lives and good luck in the future.

Reasons I Hate My Mother

I don't actually hate her. I love her to death. But she gets unearthly joys from making things like this. She has unleashed a terrible, terrible, terrible monstrosity out onto the internet.

Be advised it is a horrible sight

http://elfyourself.jibjab.com/view/bDQzd2f13yBb2CCVpw6e

I think it speaks for itself.

It doesn't help it is a really bad/scary/creepy picture of me. I just think it is terrible that they are trying to sell the download of each video for 5 bucks. I remember when the guys from Jib Jab used their time (slightly) more productively.

Gotta love China

For those of you that are unaware of Youku, it's basically the Chinese version of Youtube. And the best part is, a whole bunch of copyrights that exist in the U.S. don't hold any water there, so you can watch movies for free (complete with Chinese subtitles for the Chinese literature student!).

I did half the work for you and found the only movie on there that will make you pee laughing; Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny.

When its over later, change your pants and thank me.

Last Post.

Or is it? Who knows. What I do know is that this is the last required post for this blog. I liked doing it. I must say, we are pretty good authors when we want to be. I wonder if this will live on. If not, I will leave on these parting notes:

Goodnight, and good luck world.

It's nerf or nothin'

On our floor a bunch of us recently bought nerf guns.

This was possibly the best decision I have made since attending UVM.

You have no idea how fun it is to run around your dorm hall, shooting anything and everything that moves, having the suction darts stick to any flat surface, and getting yelled at because other people are studying. This was the most threaputic way to not study ever I thought. Now our guns were the normal kind you played with as kids. the standard, spring loaded, one at a time kind of shooting gun. But upon further research I have found that nerf guns suddenly got 10x more hardcore than when we were kids. There is a sniper and a gatling esque gun now that requires a tripod. A tripod. The thing is huge. Here is it:

And the sniper:

I wish I was a kid now. I would wreak havoc with this kind of technology. The world was lucky these kind of things didn't exist when I was a child. Anyway, nerf guns are a good investment. Don't even pretend like you don't want some right now.

Olé!

Procrastination addicts know: Fifa > Work.

World's greatest game based on the world's greatest game, really.

If you've never played Fifa, you probably either hate soccer or have a life. Just kidding, nobody really has a life (or hates soccer for that matter).

Anyway, I'm pretty much a Fifa god. challenge me. I dare you. Bring your a game, because you're not about to defeat The Blues with me behind them.


Keep the blue flag flyin' high...

This gets me every time.

One of my favorite shows without a doubt is Saturday Night Live. It is consistently hilarious and has been forever now, and should be considered the golden standard in comedy television. So many great comedians have come out of SNL, its pretty much like a breeding ground. One of my most recent favorite things SNL has been doing for the past few years are the SNL Digital Shorts. They are just little sketches that have been shot earlier as opposed to the ones acted out in the studio. They are pretty much all funny and I highly suggest you wikipedia "SNL Digital Shorts" and see them all. The following video was the most recent short and I have watched it about 7 or 8 times now and it still gets me every time. Plus, its a catchy tune. Also, its highly inappropriate, thought I should throw that out there. 

Setting a silly goal.

So it seems to me I should set a non academic goal. Austin had that goal with the  paper cranes. It's just something to strive towards and to look forward to I suppose. But it can't be serious because then it's no fun and not really a relaxing activity. That being said, my new goal is to beat "Through the Fire and the Flames" on expert on Guitar Hero 3. 

For those of you living under a rock, guitar hero is this cool little guitar music simulation game in which you hit buttons and strum a little strummy thing on an approx. 1/3 plastic replica of a guitar to experience the sensation of actually playing guitar without the boring and tedious necessity of actually learning real guitar. It's pretty fun and I just happen to be good at it. This song by the group "DragonForce" is called "Through the Fire and the Flames" and is considered the hardest song in Guitar Hero 3. It's an extra song, so you don't have to beat it to beat the game. Which is good, because most people can't get past 1% of this song. It's borderline rediculous. Which is why hardly anyone beats it, because it requires actaully sitting down and practicing it. 

After I learned the game, I just whipped through the actual songs you need to beat the game in GH 3 and didn't give much of a thought to beating TTFATF because it was an extra and was way too hard to warrent my time. I could beat the rest of the game fairly easily, even if some other songs gave me problems. But now I have decided to try and beat it. 

Since it's final's time, I obviously have this vast amount of time to avoid studying. During this time I will keep trying to beat this song. I don't know what I'll do if and when I beat it. It will solidify my place as one of the best Guitar Hero players at uvm. But thats pretty much it. I wish I had a goal with more practical implications.

If your curious about this song, here is some kid getting 100% on it. I will never be that good.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5GpRJItqjw

4 in a Row.

I need to do 4 of these in a row to catch up on my blogging tally.

Seeing as I am kind of hungry, I'll talk about one of my most favorite candies that are really hard to come by here in the US. Kinder Eggs. Kinder Eggs are amazing because, not only do they combine two of the best kinds of chocolates ever (white and milk, but that's not to say I don't like dark chocolate. I think if it was white, milk, and dark chocolate it would just be pure ecstasy and people just couldn't deal with it) but they also have a little toy inside. So by having chocolate and a toy, they are pretty much combining 2 of my greatest loves in one package. I can only get them out them out of the US because apparently there is some dumb law about not having "non-nutritive" items in food. Also, apparently they were banned from the US in 1997, or recalled or some junk. The fact remains that I can't get my Kinder Eggs as often as I'd like. So I was browsing youtube looking for anyone else who loves Kinder Eggs as much as I do, and I find this:

This almost, almost killed my love for Kinder Eggs. If this is how they are marketed, I shudder to think what kind of toys out of these things I played with in the past.

This video aside, I encourage you all to have a Kinder Egg. They are awesome.

I hate to break the 72 post count of our blog but..

I feel compelled to post my final project.

My Game/ Story/ Project

I have already posted everything you need to get to it.

Someone is going to have to leave and go search for the clues to finish the story.

That is all

Do They Know It's Christmas

I love Christmas. You love Christmas. Everyone loves Christmas. Even you aren't Christian you can still celebrate. You have to call it X-mas. But it is pretty much the same thing.

Luckily for us a simple religious holiday was commercialized to the point where we all get neat stuff from people we love. It is a magical time of year full of giving and good will towards all men. Mostly to make up for the other 11 months where we all hate each other.

But the real topic of conversation is favorite Christmas stuff.

Favorite Holiday Food: Glazed Ham
Favorite Christmas Movie: Jingle All The Way, The Peanuts Christmas Special
Favorite Holiday Activity: Decorating the Tree.
Least Favorite Holiday Activity: Christmas Shopping
Best Feeling in the World: Waking up early to peek in your stockings and under the tree
I Still Believe In: Santa Claus, Harvey Dent, Barack Obama

Oh and I usually hate Christmas songs. But this one is awesome. Also not very cheerful. But neither are the Irish. So it is fitting if you know The Pogues

Your turn (just kidding everyone is done commenting for the semester)

NaNoWriMo 2009

NanNoWriMo is an abbreviation for an annual writing project deemed National Novel Writing Month. It is hosted by a non-profit organization that encourages the practice of writing on the whole. You can find the website here

Now the fun part is that every November they challenge participants to write 50,000 words in 30 days. A daunting challenge indeed.

So I learned about this a bit too late into this year's project but I decided that I will participate in next year's NaNoWriMo. Why? Well simply because it would be a fun test of ability. Plus it would sound really neat at fancy parties if you could entertain people by discussing the novel you have written. I have always wanted to make off-hand comments like "Oh yes that reminds me of a particular struggle of one of the characters in my novel." "Oh you wrote a novel?" "Hmm? Oh yes that little thing. Nothing special. Just 50,000 words."

I've always had a sort of love affair with creative writing. I like coming up with stories and the like. But I hate the practice of actually writing. It is always so tedious and I become bored after a while. It is also important to note that a novel written in a month is complete dreck. Especially written by an amateur. I haven't seen a good novel come out of the program after 10 years. And the writers are usually the first to admit that their novels are a piece of garbage. But they always say it was an important lesson in writing. Some accomplished writers have come from NaNoWriMo. (supposedly)

I thought I would make a blog post about it so I can't back down a year from now. So if you see me next fall ask me how my novel is coming along.

1,000/1,000 (Yeah I finished the other day and I'm assembling them into strands. I'll post pictures if i get a chance.)

Let's Have Some Fun

This only works if you play along.

Follow these steps blindly.

Step 1 - Open up paint or a similar program. Sorry mac users looks like your god has dealt you another cruel hand in the game of life.

Step 2 - Select your favorite paint tool and color. I'd suggest not using the spray can.

Step 3 - Close your eyes.

Step 4 - Try and draw a cat.

The results are sure to be hilarious. Here is my cat for reference


I think it has a sort of charm to it. You can notice the tail, body, head, and paws. But when it came to giving it facial features I fell apart.

820/1000

Blogs

Excuse me whilst I meta-post for a moment. I realize how absurd it is to blog on a blog about blogging. So get all the chuckles out now because I'm going to get serious in a moment.

I don't particularly care for blogs. I think for the most part they are all terrible and worthless. That isn't to say some blogs aren't interesting. I think in theory blogs are fine. I can appreciate someone keeping an online journal. But if you do, please for the love of God keep it to yourself. I don't care what you did today. I don't care that Jimmy stood you up for your movie date last weekend and you cried all the way home when your mom picked you up in her mini-van. You are 13, don't make your diary public. A critic would simply tell me not to read them. This is a fair point, but when browsing the internet you are no doubt going to run into a few. What makes it particularly hard is that when you are trying to find a decent blog you have to wade through the junk to get there. Luckily you can identify the bad ones in less then one post. To highlight my point I went on LiveJournal hit random and came back with this dribble. That is at least 95% of LiveJournal.

Now on the opposite side I will say what is good about blogs. If it isn't teenage girls blogging it is likely the authors are political pundits or middle-aged men who love their cats far too much. These aren't terrible in the normal sense, just exceptionally dry and boring. But there are the rare interesting blogs out there. Sometimes authors, designers, artists, etc keep blogs on their projects that are fun to keep up on. Ben Peek, and few others like him, write some very interesting material. Slice was a great story told through a blog for instance. Blogs can be fun if handled right. Here you can see the only blog that I actually follow. Strangely enough the blog got popular enough that they printed a book with all the entries in it.

Now let me talk about our blogs for a moment. They have been fun to say the least. I was wondering what is going to happen when the class ends. Will people still check them? Will people still write? Will people like blogging enough to make their own? My answer to the above questions are maybe, probably not, and no (respectively) While the blogs have been neat they in no way changed my opinions on blogging. I tend to think the blogs will just sit around collecting dust in the ever ebbing tides of the internet. One thing I would like to note is that the reason the blogs were so much fun in here is as follows. It is a harsh digital world out there. In order to get noticed and read on the internet you need a certain level of talent and/or commitment. In class we had a guaranteed audience. By forcing us to read each others blogs we all got to experience the thrills of online blogging. And in a way we were sheltered. Our own little corral on the internet where we were free to frolic about with each other. If we were to be let out into the rest of the internet and have to attract readers on our own I bet we all would have failed spectacularly. It would have taken some serious self-promotion on the blogger forums to convince anyone to look our way.

But that is just my opinion. What did you think about the blogs? Are you going to keep them active? Do you have a favorite blog? At any rate I think I distracted you long enough to realize what I'm trying to do here.

776/1000

I peaked too soon.

So I spend all my energy on that last post. That's the one I like and I want people to read. However, I still have to do another post. You know what it's going to be about? Whatever the "Random Article" button on the Wikipedia Page says its going to be.

1. Coongulla, Victoria. Town in Austrialia in the Shire of Wellington Local Government Area. Population: 165. The rest of the article goes into surprising detail about the town for only having 165 people.

2. Cow Belt. A cow belt is a term used to refer to the group of Hindi speaking Indian states located along the Indo-Gangetic Plain.

3. Valhalla High School. Located in El Cajon, California. Comprehensive public high school that houses about 2,000 9-12 graders. They have a lot of golf championships.

There you go. 3 random facts. The more you know. Little NBC joke right there.

Oh? Not satisified? Well I Googled "Random Facts" and got these gems.

1. The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.

2. On average, there are 178 sesame seeds on each McDonalds Big Mac bun.

3. The United States has never lost a war in which mules were used.

There you go. Now go read my better posts.

Let's face it, Austin is a lot better at this than we are.

And that, my friends, is why he is an English Major. But looking back, his posts have generally been:

1. On time, which is good considering it makes people thing we are all active on the blog when really just he is. 

2. Funny. I was thoroughly amused for about 99% of his posts. Its just really hard to make some obligatory post about Alice funny. 

3. Not lacking in some silly kind of media, be it a youtube video, some funny picture, or something like that. 

4. Better than mine.

Now, I can deal with all these facts because, as previously mentioned, he is an English major so this is kind of his job. However, I still have a little problem with number 4. Now, I am a pretty competitive person, but also realistic. I am simply not going to be challenging Lance to a bike race or Kobayashi to an eating contest, or Kaleb to a "how much of an ass I can be in class" contest. 

Ok, before I go any further with this I just have to say yes, I did Google Kaboyashi's name and spend about 20 minutes looking at the results, and found this. Kobayashi versus a BEAR.

Wasn't that awesome?! Anyway. I am, quite frankly, getting jealous of his posts. It was all fine and dandy when he was winning us blog votes, but since our initial 2 wins in a row, we have yet to repeat. I am unsatisfied with him as our leader. Now I thought to myself, there are 2 ways to handle this. I do have access to all his blog posts, I could simply go back to them and replace every adjective with "moist" and every third noun with "fart", but I figured that would be mean and immature and too much work. The second option was to simply outwrite the writer. Write better blog posts than him. This is what I tried to do with this post. And you can see how well it worked out. So I guess it is just not destined to be. Austin will forever beat us in the blogging world. But that doesn't mean I am going down without a fight. Take THIS English major! I hope it makes you and all your little English buddies cry. (This is how they are trying to teach kids English these days, by the way).

Inappropriate for minors too, btw.

Craziest...thing ever.

So, unlike many things in this world, I was absolutely not mislead at all with the title of this video. "A Clockwork Orange" did not involve oranges, nor clocks. "This is Spinal Tap" did not involve a painful medical procedure. "The Breakfast Club" did not have one scene of them eating breakfast. "Craziest" DID involve the craziest woman on the face of the planet. 

If she was real, which I suspected for a while until Dr. Parent told us otherwise, I would legitimately believe she is in the top 10 craziest people in the world list.  What really gets me is that she was a senior at Cornell, so it's not like she was a dumb girl, just legitimately insane. Just proves being in a good school doesn't make you a smart person. At least, that's what I am going with to justify myself not being in an ivy league school. 

The narrator's voice confirmed my believe she was crazy. I know it's hard to judge things like that based on the sound of one's voice, but she sounded like all those insane girls you hear in the movies. Plus the fact she was getting worked up over something as mundane as Scrabble is another sure sign she is crazy. 

One other thing that annoyed me. She was explaining how a "novice" would assume there is a Q in the highest scoring word in Scrabble. But any idiot can see that the point value is clearly in the bottom right corner of every chip. There is a Z in "Craziest" worth 10, just the same as a Q, so I don't know why this is such a huge revelation. Instead of one 10 point letter, there is another, big deal. But now I am getting too emotionally invested in this and if I talk about it much more, I will be the crazy person worrying too much about Scrabble.