I'm Taking Back Irony!

Irony is no doubt English's most fickle bitch. It is a pretty hard concept to grasp correctly and everyone screws it up now and again, myself included. But what I'm talking about here is the gross misuse of the word. People wearing hats ironically? People liking ironic music? What has become of the word that was once held as the holy grail of literature?

I think the root of the problem can be traced back to Alanis Morissette. In her 1995 hit album, Jagged Little Pill, a song was released entitled Ironic. Now the crazy little thing about that song is that none of the events described are actually ironic. Rain on your wedding day? That isn't ironic, just shitty luck. But wait don't discredit it just yet; a song that is entitled Ironic that doesn't actually contain any irony is fundamentally ironic! Canadians are tricky like that. It was probably the greatest literary joke of the 20th century. But this witty statement was lost as millions listened to the song and thought "...yeah. Yeah! Good advice you didn't take is ironic"



So there we were in 1995. Our world's perception had been forever changed. Many people tried to stand up and stop the misconception right then and there but they were silenced by Morissette's platinum selling record and rhythmic melodies. The battle had been lost. Irony would never be the same. Then in the new millennium an enemy of irony arose. His name was Ashton Kutcher. He would deliver the blow that would break irony's back.


Kutcher was different from Morissette in that he intentionally went out of his way to attack irony. Kutcher began to sport trucker hats in what was considered an "ironic manner." What the fuck did that even mean? I didn't know enough about Ashton Kutcher to believe that his hat wearing was ironic, nor did I care. Instead of ignoring it like everyone should have kids picked up on the fad and blew it out of proportion. Ironic apparel made its move from the head to the rest of the clothing family. Some thought it clever to wear Carebears or Darkwing Duck shirts "to make an ironic fashion statement". The flaw in that plan was that no one knew enough about the wearer to realize that by wearing a My Little Pony shirt they were actually making a bold declaration. Instead one would assume they are fans of My Little Pony which would be pretty cool, rather they seemed like pretentious asshats instead. Was that the irony of the situation?

Today we stand poised to lose the very definition of irony. Misuse of the word runs rampant to the point where public misconception could influence understanding in the future. Please do what you can to save this dieing word.